The Few Who Go the Hard Way

“An honorable human relationship – that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love” – is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.

It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation.
It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexity.
It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.”

-Adrienne Rich, in On Lies, Secrets, and Silence: Selected Prose, 1966-1978

I was discussing this Adrienne Rich excerpt with someone and I said “I understand why she describes love as a process, as delicate, and terrifying….but I don’t think I would ever say that love is ‘violent.’   To me love, is the opposite of violence.  “Well,” said the person,   what about abusive parents? That kind of love is violent.”


Orchard Sunset

Ug.  Part of me wanted to argue that perhaps it wasn’t really love, but I know from personal experience that is not the case.   I don’t believe that violence comes from love but way more often than we like to talk about, those who love us can be violent.

This kind of complexity of our lives is what we try to do justice to in Beloved Community.  The isolation that comes from trying to keep quiet such a truth is what we are trying to break through.   Why do we strive for these things in our Beloved Community at UUFSC?  Because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.   Because we want to be a community that can counted on to go that hard way with us.

I look forward worshipping with you this Sunday: Safe and Uncomfortable
Growth, learning, and adaptation generally happens when we feel some discomfort–but discomfort isn’t the only ingredient for learning. We must also feel safe. Worship Leaders this week are Rev. Darcy, Matthew Mason, and Sabine Klein.

Also, this Sunday I hope you will join me and the Board after worship for an important meeting regarding the future of UUFSC’s ministry:  How Should We Grow Beloved Community: State of Our Ministry Meeting–Like many other congregations in this day and age, energy and motivation among members for “doing church” the way we have done it has been noticeably low. Members do not seem to be interested or able to serve on committees and teams that have existed before.  So, what do we have energy for? What excites you? Who wants to do what? There are many ways to live out our mission of “growing the beloved community, a haven of hope, working for love and justice.”  What will be the UUFSC way? Join the Board of Trustees and Rev. Darcy in figuring out how our shared ministry should look and feel this year and in the years to come


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